Thursday, 28 October 2010

tired of feeling restless, hovering in between seasons. Yet. unwilling to settle. unready? scared of any sense of long-term. yet hungering for stability. but not really. i don't think. i don't know. frustrated by my not-knowing. annoyed by the fuzziness in my brain.

always, thinking about what's next. and not what's NOW. feeling like i've had enough and yet that i've barely even begun. here. same place but different faces. i miss hanging out with people who've known me for more than two years. we won't ever really go back to how things were. only in my imagination.

YET, i do belong, and i do have a place, places. even if i don't see it. i have worked hard, to know and be known. and there has been progress. i do know a whole selection of unique and brilliant people. i am not alone. slowly our lives are intertwining. i have a room with a beautiful view and there's been some awesome sunrises recently. i can see the sea as i walk to work(s). there's still plenty more to see...

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Highlights from Something I Said?


OK these are just a few personal highlights from a very hectic but GOOD weekend!!

Working with a fantastic group of people - the Tilt Team, the Southbank Centre Staff and the performers. Matching faces to email-names was really good. Much prefer face to face contact!

Walking along the Thames in winter sun to 'work' in my skirt and boots and feeling all 'grown up'

Luke Kennard falling off the stage. Harsh, I know, but it was good to laugh.

Jokes with Mike Ladd, Juice Aleem and Stacey Makishi in the green room

The Zumba taster...!

Hearing author Maggie Gee talk about reasons for writing

Meeting and hearing from such established poets such as Amiri Baraka, Jean 'Binta' Breeze, Michael Horowitz - and realising how central art can be to revolution.

David J on the microphone, he got skills! and a message...

Aruba Red and band - amazing!


Meeting so many people who are passionate about both the written and spoken word, and being inspired...

Monday, 18 October 2010

Something I Said?




So the internship I am doing at the moment is with Tilt - 'spoken word pioneers' - who are curating this whole weekend of top quality events and performers. I'll be there all weekend helping out, looking forwards to it! Get yourself there if you can!

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Sunny Saturday Mornings


Silver Foxes


Yesterday I spent the day filing silver foxes. Or in other words, I was helping make jewellery for my housemate Becky, who has her own business. She makes some really GREAT stuff in a cute workshop she shares with several other artists. Check out her website here! I love how her pieces do really tell stories.
I'm going to be working for her instead of paying rent, since she needs help and i have no money. I think it's a fab idea!! :-) we should have more money-less exchanges going in life i think...

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

poetry and prostitution...

Ah my head is spinning! Life is RAAAAAAANDOM. In just three days I've worked a day at Pre-school, checked out a homeless drop-in, been promoting spoken word events and done some work for Citylight, a project that works with women involved in prostitution. This morning i was alternating between calling up women from the Friday ads to tell them about the support that Citylight can offer, and creating Facebook events for well established poets. crazy.

anyways more on all these things, like Citylight and poetry, SOON.

Cuz they r good innit.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Brighton Photo Fringe

Definitely recommend taking a peep in the old Co-op building on London Road, which is exhibiting several photographers.

Especially liked Viviane Sassen's work, her colour and compositions are very striking.

llewellyn




Saturday, 9 October 2010

Glory

'The whole earth is filled with His glory'...

LIKE, that slice of golden sunlight which overtook the purple wedge of cloud, casting a warm glow across hill
tops and tips
of leaves.

OR, the dew drops clutching lacy spider webs,
bejewelled strands lavishly draping straight lined hedgerows.

Birds that greet the morning with a song.

BUT, could we be
splinters of your laughter,
small fragments of your glory
scattered over the earth?

Maybe
you threw back your head in delight at what you had created,
clapped your hands with joy,
and, as a million more stars shot into the heavens like sparks from an anvil,
we were filled with your life, your breath.

And we move to the rhythm of the swaying grass
the pounding waves
the rise and set of sun.
for in all things there is heard the echoes of your heartbeat
so we dance, we dance.

And could the seas be
great pools of your tears?
tears of love so deep we'll never reach the bottom.
and this love it overwhelms us
it draws us
beckons us with its ceaseless lapping upon the shores.
stretches off to distant horizons.
and we paddle, wade, dive, play, float in it.

Love.


Sunday, 3 October 2010

design

time for a change of colour on the old blog me thinks... will try things out till i settle again :-)


i think this yellow may be a little TOO bright! ah well, let it brighten up your day for now...

character

"I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibilty inherent in the acknowledgement. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remanrkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants".

'A million miles in a thousand years' by Donald Miller (p.59)

Saturday, 2 October 2010

Saturday ponderations

Today i woke up with 'Miss American Pie' in my head. Why? Not that it's a bad song to have in your head.

I especially like the bit

and i know that you're in love with him
for I saw you dancing in the gym
you both kicked off your shoes
and i dig those rhythmy blues...

i love old Don's lyrics, they're so much more interesting than a lot of songs on the radio 'these days'. (haha i sound old!) i feel like it's full of suggestions of all these other stories going on, which we can only guess at and wish we knew a little more. I also wish i knew how to spell rhythm/rythm/rhthym.

TODAY, also, i watched three episodes of Wife Swap USA. it is mental, but fascinating, and addictive! i barely ever watch TV so this definitely felt like a bit of a binge. and i felt guilty, slightly. I know it's good to rest, and i am grateful for a day with no set plans, but it also makes me feel a bit like i've thrown some hours away. i told myself i was picking up tips on marriage and child-raising for future reference. whatever katrina.

TODAY, it rained. I don't want to be yet another person who complains about the weather, and it's made me realise how little it has rained recently, but it really does make me feel YUK. It makes me want to run away from this grey island. I walked over the golf course and it made me think of period dramas when the girl walks over the wild moors and its all desolate and dramatic (except i wasn't in a beautiful dress but too-big wellies and an anorak that belonged to my great aunt) and some people like this bleakness but i'd much rather it was summer all the time.

TODAY, maybe partly because of the rain, I was in one of my RESTLESS moods that creep up on me now and then and i've never figured out quite why or what to do about them. It sits mainly in my stomach and makes me clench my fists. They make me want to shout, scream, punch something, throw paint at a wall, hit a drum loudly, escape to somewhere other than here but not sure where...

TODAY, I also feel nostalgic. But for weird things, like dancing in the living room with friends to RnB, perfecting our hip movements. And for passing notes. Kind of secondary school things. Hmm... and things connected with Zambia like the flower that you only smell at night, and being able to see lots of stars. Maybe it's also to do with wanting to escape, this focus on the past, and also thoughts on the future and what it holds. When the best i can do is actually be here being myself, giving what i can, being thankful for what i have, right now, TODAY.

So.... TODAY, also, I enjoyed being held by a boy i love, and had a cup of tea with my cousin who makes the best cups of tea, and made fairy cakes with my friend who's more like my sister, and spoke to an actual sister on the phone and she is happy, and i wore my new hat, and it's my Dad's birthday, and he is the reason i ever knew the lyrics to 'Bye bye Miss American Pie' in the first place.