Thursday, 14 July 2011

"Get over your hill..."

Was feeling a bit meh yesterday... kinda anxious/low/frustrated... but took a walk over the golf course and as I walked up the grassy hills with a beautiful evening sky above me, listened to this song. Good words!

After the Storm (Mumford & Sons)
And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and mine so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair
seems everyone's talkin' bout things a'changin'...
an' takin' courage in the midst of it

Friday, 8 July 2011

countryside




a couple of weeks ago, as part of my training for the swim, and cuz i was a bit stressed out, went for a long bike ride. Can't believe I've never really properly explored the countryside beyond where I live. It's rather lovely in the evening sunshine. Something about long, straight, empty roads and blue sky...

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

made it!


woo hoo we did it! And in about 25 minutes which I was quite surprised at. The sea was calm and it was a beautiful day so really enjoyed it.

PS Thanks to those who sponsored us, we raised about £300 for FareShare. Woop!

Friday, 1 July 2011

worry not

OK so I KNOW we're told many times not to worry
I know that worrying solves nothing
I know that I don't want worry or fear to be what dictates my decisions and feelings
I know that my God can feed 5,000 people with just a few fish and loaves of bread
I know that I am His child and He gives good things to His children
I know that I am fortunate enough to have people around who will help out if worst comes to worst

YET... I still often find myself carrying a knot of anxiety in my stomach, wondering if things will work out, carrying burdens I have told other people so many times to lay down. I worry we will not be able to save enough money over the summer to get us somewhere to live once we're married. I worry that the wedding will not be what I hoped it would be. I worry I will let people down. I worry I'll let myself down. I worry about worrying.

oh man! I am so human. and on another day I'd laugh at myself. And I know I'll look back and say what a waste of time and life that worrying was.

And even in the midst of this, He continually shows His kindness. We unexpectedly received some money from a relative the other day, which is such a blessing. And this morning I read something in Matthew that i swear I've never seen before, even though I've read the book several times. I guess Peter was worrying about paying the bills, and Jesus says look the authorities 'ain't got nothing on us' - or words to that effect - 'but just so you know God's still looking out for you, go catch a fish and there'll be the money to pay in the fish's mouth'. So He can provide in all sorts of unexpected ways!! And I'm sorry once again for doubting.

So. Perhaps 100 times a day, if I need to, I will try and 'lay it down'. To breathe deeply and be grateful for what I do have. And chose to live in the today.