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Wednesday 3 August 2011

Am I really a teacher?

I have been a teacher for a full 2 weeks and 3 days now. Well, a teacher of English I should say. Somehow I feel the need to clarify that I am not what I'd still call a 'real teacher', i.e. PGCE, secondary school, class full of kids to teach/control. I do think their job is a whole lot harder and I don't think I could do it. I feel I've cheated the system somewhat - doing just a five week course and then heading straight to the front of a room full of foreign students for several hours a day, armed with board markers and not much else (it feels to me!).


Having said that, I cannot let you assume that I'm finding this a 'breeze'. Yes, I really enjoyed the Tesol course and yes, I suppose I felt quite confident throughout it that this was something I could do, and potentially do well. That may still be the case, however I am far from reaching that 'doing well' place. Unfortunately. It really isn't very comfortable to feel so out of ones depth every day! I feel a bit of a fraud and fear this feeling shows through! Really I'm just a 20-something-year-old who happens to be English and would rather be your friend than tell you what to do.


I've tried disguising my age and inexperience (and attempting to distinguish myself from the Spanish/German/Swiss students) by dressing up 'smart'. But this in itself is proving rather a challenge when ones wardrobe consists mainly of jeans, hoodies, or clothes with holes in. I might manage the heels and tighter-fitting-trousers-than-normal, but the chipped bright pink nail varnish that I forgot to remove, the mismatched earrings and the messy hair slightly detract from my sophisticated look. Ah well. It would be a big challenge to fit this chick into any kind of corporate box, she's realising more and more!



more thoughts on teaching to come... didn't want to overwhelm y'all with the mass of ponderations that have been bubbling away under the surface as I dash from classroom to classroom trying not to drop my papers all over the floor...

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