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Tuesday 8 May 2012

Living a Good Story

"...nobody really remembers easy stories.  Characters have to face their greatest fears with courage.  That's what makes a story good.  If you think about the stories you like most, they probably have lots of conflict.  There is probably death at stake, inner death or actual death, you know.  These polar charges, these happy and sad things in life, are like colors God uses to draw the world" (p.31).

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"If I have a hope, it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunshine and rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story.  The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement.  We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage.  And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants" (p.59) 

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Both of the above quotes are from Donald Miller's book, 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years' (2009, Thomas Nelson).  I've read it before and I'm now dipping into it now and again.  Partly because, I think some of the reason that I've been feeling frustrated recently is that I'm not so sure that we're 'living a good story'Life is short, it rushes right on by, and I don't want to reach the end of it wishing I'd risked more, loved more, dared more, laughed more, changed more...

I'm inspired, and challenged, and perhaps envious of, friends who are making decisions to live a better story.  Ordinary people who run marathons to fundraise for charities they care about, cycle from John O' Groats to Lands End to raise money to build a school in Nicaragua (see Darren's blog HERE) , live below the Poverty Line for a Week (learn more about what my cousin, and many others are doing HERE), move to one of the biggest slums in Kenya (read Pippa's blog about that HERE) or move from the suburbs into inner-city Bristol to connect with and show love to those who live there (my Aunty has just started to share some of her wise reflections HERE).

It's great to be motivated by other people's stories, but I also know simply comparing myself to others just leaves me feeling disappointed and guilty.  I cannot live someone else's story, and they cannot live mine.  I know that we are made for more than watching TV, eating too much, being tired, stressed and just working to get money to get by.  At the same time, for various reasons - as much as we might like to - we cannot just up and leave the country to have adventures elsewhere.  The challenge is how to live a good story here and now in the mundane and the everyday.  How do we spend/save that extra fiver, who do we invite into our home and cook a meal for, where do we buy our clothes from, how do I engage with people at work even when it's the last place I want to be, what do we do with that free evening...?  These are all areas we frequently fall into the trap of the easiest/laziest/cheapest way.  And I want to become someone who makes GOOD choices - good for me, for others, and good in the long-term not just the here and now. 

I realise I'm mixing up 'I' and 'we' but I suppose now my story is also my husband's, which makes it harder, and more exciting all at the same time.  And ultimately it's all part of God's story, the one we're following/walking with.  So I'm glad it's not just about us.  But may that not become an excuse to live less than we were made too.

I'm also encouraged by Donald Miller's words about facing fears with courage, about conflict, about happy and sad.  Because our story so far this year hasn't been full of ecstatic moments, of adventures, of sunset romance and warm fuzzy feelings and victorious achievements and cliff top-exhilaration.  To the outsider, we've probably come across distant, and a little sad.  But these months have been about us persevering in the face of death, depression, frustration.  Of learning to love one another and trust God when it hurts, when we don't understand, when the darkness feels overwhelming.  Sometimes getting out of bed and going to work is about the biggest challenge we could face.  Or answering the phone.  Or choosing to forgive, to hold our tongue, or to say our thoughts out loud.  These 'little' things can sometimes take a whole load of courage.  And I'm sure we're not alone in facing them.  And we have not given up.  And we have held each other.  And yes there have been plenty of tears, but there's also been some dancing.  And lots of kisses.  So perhaps this isn't the most glamorous or exciting chapter.  But perhaps it's rather important too.

1 comment:

darrenallwright said...

Thank you so much for such an encouraging read. The fact that you're aware of your story means you'll start living a better one. Don miller is such an inspiration isnt he! Write your own story indeed! Thanks for ur honesty aswell. Darren